On Stupidity

Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation – Carlo M. Cipolla

Some time ago, I was provoked by a warning notice in the handbook of a household power tool I'd just bought – a paint stripping gun, in fact. Having listed clearly the uses and benefits of such a tool, alongside sensible safety advice – for it is, after all, a 1500 watt power tool – the handbook then issues the following warning, to those still unsure of the paint stripping gun's reason for being. It said, in bold typeface:

Warning – Never use this Appliance as a Hair Dryer

A further note then went on to remind those of us who were thinking of using the paint stripping gun on animals, to please not do so.

Now, I generally approve of Britain's ongoing and briskly organised 'safety first' approach, although it is regarded with amused contempt by most of the rest of the world, (except Sweden. I'm guessing) who see it as quaint and patronising. What do they know, I figured? Where I come from, no plug socket in the bathroom, means no death by electric shock. If Johnny Foreigner prefers to fry to a needless death whilst shampooing his already over-coiffured barnet, I say let him fry.

But this warning note on my paint stripper, seemed to take le biscuit. I was astonished. Are we that stupid, I wondered? Surely not. Must we really tell our citizens not to use 1500 Watt Paint Stripping Heat Guns on their heads, hair and faces? Or their cats and dogs? Can't we just assume that there's a received wisdom here and move on. Failing that, perhaps people could just be allowed to piece together the clues and use them as a guide to further action. The label 'paint stripping gun' does it for me.

Outraged on behalf of the British people, I decided that this sort of thing is the upshot of the dumbing down of culture. It's not loud and mindless reality TV shows, or binge drinking hoodies that are to blame, it's the belief that 'the people' are all really stupid, all of the time, potentially dangerous, and irresponsible at any given moment. From this assumption follows the removal of people's chance to work things out for themselves, using simple words, concepts, contexts and motivations as guidelines and evidence. Instead, it is assumed by the powers that be, that people think like this:

Person 1: "I just bought a paint-stripping gun"
Person 2: "Oh really? What for?"
Person 1: "To dry my hair, of course .Before then turning it onto the dog."

For heaven's sake, I thought. It's not a ten year, multi-level investigation into the collapse of a major financial institution. It's not even The Sun crossword. It's a paint stripping gun.

Now, I am fully aware that stupid people are everywhere and their numbers are growing. Every day, near enough, a stupid person unapologetically interferes with aspects of my life. The dustbin men, maybe. George W. Bush. Certain bus drivers. That lot on Big Brother. Many, many others.

But let's give people a chance, I figured. They can do it, probably. Ditch the comedy warning, and let them proceed. Go on then. Use the paint stripping gun as a hair dryer, why ever not? And don't forget to give the cat a good going over with it too. I could use a new pair of slippers.

If everyone treats everyone else as if they were an outright, grade A moron, then logically we shall all end up standing in the big and ever-growing, moron queue – a place I had particularly wished to avoid. Enough is enough, I figured. Treat people smart, and they'll think smart.

Anyhow, I related my tale of patronised outrage to a friend, who happens to be a lawyer. "How stupid do they think people are?" I asked her. "Oh", she said casually, adding with chilling legal precision, "Warnings like that are a response to prior litigation."

"What?", I asked dumbfounded, my mouth hanging open like an idiot.

"It means that people have already tried to use the paint stripping gun as a hair dryer, or on their cats and dogs, and then tried to sue the power tool company for negligence. The warning is an attempt to forestall any further attempts to sue."

"So people really are that stupid, after all?" I gawped.

"Well, yeah, of course they are. Durr", she confirmed.

Sometimes, I then realised, it feels so good to be wrong.